ENVELOPE FULL OF HUMAN HAIR PERPLEXES LIBRARY WORKER

     I've had a weird, long day.  But let me backtrack a little, and mention that I was pee-your-pants excited to see Dame Darcy sitting in the front row of last night's episode of America's Next Top Model.  I will not apologize for watching that show.  It is my religion.  As soon as Anthony said, "Oh my god, that's Dame Darcy!" in my head I was doing a "six degrees of Kevin Bacon" type thing, connecting Library Bonnet to ANTM.  Because Dame Darcy reads Library Bonnet.  It made me feel closer to the show, and... closer to God.       
     Now on to my weird, long day.  This morning I was checking books in, and when I opened one of the books, a white sealed envelope slid out of it.  I thought maybe there might be something important in it, so I opened it.  To my horror, it was full of BLACK HUMAN HAIR.  I don't mean just a few strands, I mean a LOT of black human hair, in a bundle.  I immediately ran for my anti-bacterial handsoap.  I almost kept the hair-filled envelope, just to show people, but it was so gross and nasty, I had to throw it away.  
     Later in the day, I had a disturbing incident when these kids came into the library to take a history test.  One of the girls was loudly disturbing the other kids, and finally one of the boys said, "She's talking so much I can't even concentrate!"  The girl said something nasty back to him, which I didn't quite catch, so I said, "What did you just say to him?"  She said, "I didn't say nothing," and gave me a dirty look.  I said, "You better watch the way you look at me, and stop lying, because you DID say something.  Now tell me what it was."  
     She looked straight at me with this frighteningly hateful look in her eyes, and said loudly and proudly, "I said FAG."  I was so stunned, I stupidly asked, "What?" and she repeated, "I said, FAG."
     Of course I called her teacher, and sent her off to detention with him, and he gave her the full-on talk about why that's so unacceptable, but what really upset me was how much it threw me off-kilter.  Normally I would have handled the detention and "the talk" myself, but I was so freaked out by the pure ugly hate in her eyes, I sort of blanked out, and got all jittery.  I HATE that.  It's bad enough when they throw that word around casually in an ignorant way, but it was like this girl really MEANT it.  Ugh.  I just wasn't up to that today, even from some twatty 13-year old.
     But then after school something funny totally made up for it.  
     I was standing there appreciating the relative quiet after the big after-school rush was over, and this one really quirky, smart kid came in.  He walked up to the circ desk, looking freaked out and desperate, and said, "Mr. Kovac, I don't why, but I just thought maybe you would be the one to come to with this... dilemma."  I looked at him, and saw that he was wearing eyeliner on one eye, with some creative design coming off of it, and across part of his cheek.  Sort of a glam-rock thing.  He said, "Do you know how to get eyeliner off?  Do I wait for it to dry first?!"  
     I said, "Dude, I always used eyeliner pencil, I can't help you with the liquid kind."
     Apparently he forgot what day it was, and was thinking he had several hours before any parents got home, and would have time to, as he put it, "prance around with my eyeliner on, and listen to David Bowie, and... you know..."  I supplied, "Pretend to BE David Bowie?"  "Of course!" he responded proudly.  Anyway, the problem was that he remembered this was NOT a day when he'd have a few hours to himself, and in fact his conservative hillbilly grandmother was coming home soon, and if she saw any sign of eyeliner on him, he would be in big-ass trouble.  Not to mention if his DAD found out.  So I let him use the sink in the library workroom, and he scrubbed and scrubbed at his eye until I verified that all trace of the eyeliner was gone.           
     He said, "So, my grandmother isn't going to look at me, and know I had makeup on?"
     I said, "No, not at all!  Unless I TELL her..."
     He laughed, then said, "Wait, you're kidding, right?"
     He hung around for a while, then as he was leaving, he came up to the desk, and said, "Mr. Kovac I would just like to thank you for being so understanding.  I would appreciate it if this didn't... uh, you know... leave this room.  May you and all your Slovak brethren have a good evening."